Frank Weeden and TD Cooper discuss the strengths of a collaborative narrative.
Frank and I are stuck on our collaborative story and we discuss some possible ways to advance the story of Carmella and Trinity-Blue.
Friday, June 26, 2020
Wednesday, June 3, 2020
Building a road map to our Collaborative short story
TD Cooper and Frank Weeden do some more work on their collaborative short story.
https://amazon.com/author/tdcooper
This week we talk about what direction we see Carmella and Trinity-Blue's adventure taking. Although we are careful not to give the story away, we share some thoughts we both have considered since last week.
Here is the beginning part of the story again:
Carmella stretched out on her bed, closed her eyes, and listened to
the rain pound on the thatched roof of her cabin as she’d done for the
last week. The moist heat made her uncomfortable, almost sick to her
stomach. She tossed and turned until she gave up and sat on the edge of
her bed. “Mom closed my window again,” she said as she threw it open.
The rain had stopped, and a cool breeze puffed across her cheeks.
Carmella stretched to look up into the sky. “No rain! The clouds have
broken apart,” she whispered. “I can see the waning crescent moon and
brilliant stars across the sky. I’m going for a ride!”
The cupboard doors squeaked as Carmella opened them. She reached for her ruby pinafore and a white blouse, slid the clothes on, and climbed out the window. The village glowed under the soft yellow light of the moon and stars, and the wet dirt smelled sweet. Happiness filled her soul until she felt like bursting.
“It’s the first night of spring, and I’m free!” she whispered into the night sky. “A ride would be fabulous.” Carmella knew that leaving the Kingdom at night and without an escort would land her in trouble with her parents, the King and Queen, but she’d sneaked away many times before and gotten away with it. She didn’t care. Her day had ended at Court with her sisters tattling constantly, and she needed a release. What could go wrong on this quiet spring night?
The aviary lay across the soggy paddock and amongst the trees of the forest. Carmella walked through the wide doors of the barn and clung close to the inside wall. One had to be mindful of birds that were the size of horses when walking beneath them. Each multi-colored bird roosted on a perch high above the ground and as close to the ceiling as possible. A soothing variety of chirps reverberated from the puffed-up birds as they slept with their heads tucked under their wings.
Carmella’s bird was more prominent than most. He sported cerulean feathers with a white underbelly. Tiny black pinfeathers outlined each eye. She’d named him Trinity-Blue when he was just a chick. The two had grown up together and spent every free minute flying along the countryside.
The ladder that led up into the rafters smelled of wet wood and mold. Carmella inched her way up in the dark until she reached the scaffolding, and then she walked the small slates of wood to Trinity-Blue. She’d been in the aviary so many times the darkness didn’t intimidate her at all.
“Trinny, wake up,” she whispered. He didn’t budge. “Trinity-Blue!” she said louder. He opened an eye and closed it. “Trinity-Blue, we’ll be home before they miss us,” she whispered into the big bluebird’s ear. “Here I picked this raspberry just for you,” Carmella said and waved the fruit in front of the bird’s nose. He squinted and snuggled deeper into his feathers. “Oh, come on, Trinny! Wake-up! It stopped raining.” He opened his eye again and surveyed the berry. “That’s it, come on, we’ll only go for a few minutes, I promise.”
Trinity-Blue yawned, stretched out a foot and wing, spun around on his perch, and put his back to Carmella. His feathers puffed up again, and he closed his eyes. “Okay, I’ll go see if Jaggers wants to go for a midnight cruise,” Carmella said and pretended to walk away. Trinity looked over his shoulder and smoothed his feathers. “Now that’s the spirit,” she said, climbed onto his back, and goosed him forward. Trinity-Blue launched himself through the enormous open window and soared into the night sky.
“I promise our flight won’t take long. It’s so pretty outside!” Carmella said and exhaled. Trinity-Blue screeched his birdcall and picked up speed. He flapped his wings, reached for the stars high above the Ralle Kingdom, and then rode the air currents, feeling the autonomy they both coveted. Carmella stretched her arms wide, grasped the berry in one hand, and breathed in the fresh, brisk night air.
“Head for that tree, Trinny, and we’ll share the berry.” Carmella pointed to a large deciduous tree that was pushing green buds. Trinity-Blue squawked and landed high in the top of the tree. Carmella gave him the first bite, and she nibbled on a single seed. “Here you can have the rest,” she said and held out the remainder of the berry. Trinity-Blue gobbled it down as Carmella stretched out on his back with her hands beneath her head. She closed her eyes to dream.
Moments later, Trinity-Blue stiffened. Carmella patted his back and stroked his feathers. He gurgled deep in his throat. “What is it, Trinny?” she said and opened an eye. The stars and moon had vanished with a darkened sky. Camilla sat up and saw what appeared as a giant cloud, moving over the Ralle Kingdom. “This doesn’t look good. We better go!” she whispered and nudged Trinity-Blue off the branch. He spread his wings and headed for the aviary. Faster and faster, he flew, but the black mist continued to move in and cut off his flight path. Just then, a massive door opened up on the underside of the cloud and swallowed them inside. It closed before Trinity-Blue or Carmella could react.
To be continued...
The cupboard doors squeaked as Carmella opened them. She reached for her ruby pinafore and a white blouse, slid the clothes on, and climbed out the window. The village glowed under the soft yellow light of the moon and stars, and the wet dirt smelled sweet. Happiness filled her soul until she felt like bursting.
“It’s the first night of spring, and I’m free!” she whispered into the night sky. “A ride would be fabulous.” Carmella knew that leaving the Kingdom at night and without an escort would land her in trouble with her parents, the King and Queen, but she’d sneaked away many times before and gotten away with it. She didn’t care. Her day had ended at Court with her sisters tattling constantly, and she needed a release. What could go wrong on this quiet spring night?
The aviary lay across the soggy paddock and amongst the trees of the forest. Carmella walked through the wide doors of the barn and clung close to the inside wall. One had to be mindful of birds that were the size of horses when walking beneath them. Each multi-colored bird roosted on a perch high above the ground and as close to the ceiling as possible. A soothing variety of chirps reverberated from the puffed-up birds as they slept with their heads tucked under their wings.
Carmella’s bird was more prominent than most. He sported cerulean feathers with a white underbelly. Tiny black pinfeathers outlined each eye. She’d named him Trinity-Blue when he was just a chick. The two had grown up together and spent every free minute flying along the countryside.
The ladder that led up into the rafters smelled of wet wood and mold. Carmella inched her way up in the dark until she reached the scaffolding, and then she walked the small slates of wood to Trinity-Blue. She’d been in the aviary so many times the darkness didn’t intimidate her at all.
“Trinny, wake up,” she whispered. He didn’t budge. “Trinity-Blue!” she said louder. He opened an eye and closed it. “Trinity-Blue, we’ll be home before they miss us,” she whispered into the big bluebird’s ear. “Here I picked this raspberry just for you,” Carmella said and waved the fruit in front of the bird’s nose. He squinted and snuggled deeper into his feathers. “Oh, come on, Trinny! Wake-up! It stopped raining.” He opened his eye again and surveyed the berry. “That’s it, come on, we’ll only go for a few minutes, I promise.”
Trinity-Blue yawned, stretched out a foot and wing, spun around on his perch, and put his back to Carmella. His feathers puffed up again, and he closed his eyes. “Okay, I’ll go see if Jaggers wants to go for a midnight cruise,” Carmella said and pretended to walk away. Trinity looked over his shoulder and smoothed his feathers. “Now that’s the spirit,” she said, climbed onto his back, and goosed him forward. Trinity-Blue launched himself through the enormous open window and soared into the night sky.
“I promise our flight won’t take long. It’s so pretty outside!” Carmella said and exhaled. Trinity-Blue screeched his birdcall and picked up speed. He flapped his wings, reached for the stars high above the Ralle Kingdom, and then rode the air currents, feeling the autonomy they both coveted. Carmella stretched her arms wide, grasped the berry in one hand, and breathed in the fresh, brisk night air.
“Head for that tree, Trinny, and we’ll share the berry.” Carmella pointed to a large deciduous tree that was pushing green buds. Trinity-Blue squawked and landed high in the top of the tree. Carmella gave him the first bite, and she nibbled on a single seed. “Here you can have the rest,” she said and held out the remainder of the berry. Trinity-Blue gobbled it down as Carmella stretched out on his back with her hands beneath her head. She closed her eyes to dream.
Moments later, Trinity-Blue stiffened. Carmella patted his back and stroked his feathers. He gurgled deep in his throat. “What is it, Trinny?” she said and opened an eye. The stars and moon had vanished with a darkened sky. Camilla sat up and saw what appeared as a giant cloud, moving over the Ralle Kingdom. “This doesn’t look good. We better go!” she whispered and nudged Trinity-Blue off the branch. He spread his wings and headed for the aviary. Faster and faster, he flew, but the black mist continued to move in and cut off his flight path. Just then, a massive door opened up on the underside of the cloud and swallowed them inside. It closed before Trinity-Blue or Carmella could react.
To be continued...
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